First off, size DOES matter! Now ladies, mind out of gutter@ Not THAT size! When the quest for the day is for my body to find body Adornment- Queen size clothes or as they say in the ladies department -WOMEN- there are many things to consider before one leaves their home – first and foremost we must be warriors! We shall stand erect (ok so sex is most definitely on my mind it seems) in front of a full size mirror (yep! You heard me) NO half peeks or looking just above the nose! The only thing to consider before we trek out is do we look fab-u-lous? So as NOT to look like we had put our finger in a light socket upon leaving are we wearing a button down blouse or full-necked jersey- (yes you may be as surprised as I first was -we can wear jersey! More on this later) – we want to look as fresh as we did when we arrived. Looking battered or defeated is NOT who we are today! Are we in comfortable but stylish shoes and have we put on make-up and done our hair- now you may be asking yourselves who is this apparent fool and what’s up with her shopping dress code? I have come to believe, when we feel great and look good- show that we deserve to wear beautiful sexy clothing, than we are going to feel less like killing the Lilliputian in the PETITE dept which is – can u believe –located directly opposite or next to OUR department! The first time I noticed this injustice is when I accidentally wandered in not realizing I had crossed the boundary – the line between good and bad! (I was trained to feel that way) – did I fall into Alice’s hole too? Was my water bottle tampered with – was this laced with an ingredient that answered my dreams- Make me small!! At that same moment of lucidity it struck me! I was not in My land any more –an anorexic like older women (I am also that- OLDER) looked me up and down as if to say- or scream invader! invader! I quickly took cover - as you know, when you see one of these (we shall call them LPs (Lil’-Peeps) from the back these LPs resemble a small boy at times or teenager. I am always wide-eyed and even shocked when they turn around and I notice people actually age and manage to stay tiny! I am awed and deeply respectful of these control freaks-– self-denial can be such a bore!
